What Does Music Mean To You? A Music Therapist Explores Their Relationship With Music
Usually when something means a lot to you, you sort of feel like its always been around. You can’t necessarily give the exact date it was introduced to you or the precise details of it all, but you know that once it happened- its permeated your life ever since. I’d say that explains my relationship with music. Music has always been an integral part of my life, and that can be attributed to my parent’s culture which ultimately fell into my lap. The way that I was raised made me view music as the most honest, expressive way of relaying your feelings. The only thing I really remember about growing up in church are all the songs I heard over and over again, and the range of subject matter they covered. If you were frustrated and lacked clarity there was a song you could sing to God; if you were joyous and felt like dancing there was a song for that too (it’s called “Dance Like David”).
My understanding of music for the first half of my life was that it’s always around because it enhances the main focus, whether that be a scene in a movie or a church service. Soon, I realized that music, for me, was the main focus and would remain so for a very long time. I have always pondered the intricacies of music, feeling an insatiable urge to understand the mechanics of it all, desperate to learn the ins and outs of being an instrumentalist. The people I admired most growing up were musicians; in my eyes they were basically auditory alchemists, concocting an atmosphere that didn’t exist prior. As I watched my siblings flourish as musicians, and saw how much they loved their craft, I naturally wondered what I was capable of and explored my voice as quietly as I possibly could. Even if I wanted silence, there was a song running through my mind and then eventually being sung under my breath.
Music is everywhere and it is embedded in every moment of my life. I find musical motifs in car horns, sirens, heels clicking, breathing, coughing, and basically anything else that makes noise. Any sound can be built upon and, within context, be a part of a beautiful composition. My brain constantly wants to make songs out of these sounds, as well as phrases I hear spoken throughout the day. I’ve always been fascinated by the melodic nature of speech, especially in all the Spanish I grew up hearing spoken.
The string of stressed and unstressed syllables, the flowing open vowels, and the strong “s” and “v” consonants that push the breath forward create a supported and florid vocal line. My grandmother always speaks in such a sing-song voice, with a lovely tone and clear cadence. My other grandmother often breaks out in song after periods of silence, singing her favorite hymns like a little songbird.
There is always a song stuck in my head. It may be a new song everyday but sometimes it’s the same song for several days. It’s as if when I hear a new song its the only thing I can think about. I dedicate myself to perfecting the melody, harmonies, and memorizing the accompaniment. So, most songs are earworms for me, inescapable and consuming. I don't have the best memory, not being able to tell you about what I did yesterday let alone what my childhood was like. Yet, when it comes to music I will remember the intricacies and sometimes sing the accompaniment rather than the melody. Imitation is in my nature; I immediately internalize the external and incorporate it into my inner world, and music is the perfect outlet for that. A lot of my musical reactions are instinctual, but I suppose that is the nature of improvisation. Growing up without any formal training has left me to have to figure out patterns, what works and what doesn’t, by ear. My musical ear shapes most of my interactions with the world around me.
Music is limitless. There is no subject music cannot cover, no mood it cannot convey, and no guaranteed reaction to it. Everyone experiences music differently, and yet we can still experience it together. Although music can be incredibly personal and subjective, music can also connect groups of people and create unprecedented bonds. It’s everywhere; it has always existed and it will continue to permeate our lives whether we actively react to it or not.
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